Wednesday, September 3, 2008

A Hairsylist's Nightmare

Halloween was almost upon us. I was on my way to my moms apartment to pick up Sal & take him to buy a costume. This is his first Trick or Treating & I was excited about taking him. I still had the key to her apartment, so I just let myself in. As I opened the door, I watched as my mom kicked Sal in his back. The poor boy was curled up on the floor, crying out, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry mommy."
"What the hell?" I screamed, pushing her away from him & picking him up into my arms. "What are you doing to him?"
"He disobeyed me!" her face was blood red, & spit shot from her mouth as she spoke. "He's a damn brat. He has to learn that when I say something, he MUST do it!"
My son was holding onto my neck, trembling, while his tears were dripping down my neck. I thought that I was going to be nauseous. I tightened my hold on Sal, & rocked him in my arms.
"Let me tell you something," I wanted to smack that look on her face right off. "You don't kick him. you don't hit him. You don't ever do anything to Sal like that again!"
"Who do you think your talking to?" Her voice was defiant & loud. Sal hugged my neck tighter. "That's my son. As far as everyone knows around here, he's my kid. I take care of him. I stood up nights when he was a baby, walking him, washing diapers, taking care of him."
"Mom, that has nothing to do with it. I couldn't live here anymore with you & daddy. You know why. If I would have stayed here, something awful would have happened."
"Aach," she waved her hand in the air to brush off what I just said, "That's all a lie. I don't believe anything that you said. I know none of that stuff is true. Andrew loves me. Besides, your the one that left the baby with me. That proves to everyone that you don't want him. You live in the kitchen of hell, hanging out with those people, doing God knows what everyday. Your not a mother. You don't know what sacrifice is! You've never wanted that boy. I need him! Now, put 'My' son down & leave this house."
" You know, your a bitter old woman, full of meanness & hatred. I'm taking Sal shopping for his Halloween costume." I was putting Sal down from my arms. He had stopped crying, & I was brushing his hair back from his face.
"You will do no such thing!", she pulled Sal by the arm over to her side. My son started to cry again, & I could see the fear in my little boys eyes.
"What are you doing mom?" The swiftness of her action took me by surprise. "I told you yesterday that I was taking him shopping today."
"I don't want you with him. You won't take him out or shopping any more unless I'm with you, understood?" Her face was alarming. Her eyes showed a hatred that I hadn't seen in many years, but was all too familiar with.
"Mom, I'm taking my son out today." my voice was calm, but my nerves were screaming.
"No!" she held her body straight up, shoulders back, in full defiance. "Now, get out of my home. Get out & don't degrade my home again."
I walked toward Sal & she pulled him behind her body. Her eyes were cold.
"Let me say good bye."
"You can say it from there!"
"I want to kiss him good bye mom? Let me kiss my son, please" Now I started to cry.
"I told you, he is My son. you abandoned him & that's what I'm telling the whole family. No! You cannot kiss him or anything anymore. Out, get out!
Sal was crying again, watching me cry. I wanted to strike out. I wanted to grab my baby. I wanted to scream. I turned around to the door, turned back to my son, threw him a kiss as he quietly whimpered & made a little kiss face, & pulled the door closed, knowing that I had to leave today. I had to go now! My heart was beating so fast in my chest. I was clutching my fists. I have to get back home quickly. If I stayed another minute, I'll be sorry for the rest of my life. I waved down a taxi, sat back in the seat, & let the tears come.

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