Cuts That Hurt

It was Spring again! I always loved the Spring Season, & this was my first Spring in Manhattan. It was different here for some reason. Everyone had a bounce to their step. Central Park was beautiful, with the full trees & blooming bushes , tulips, & roses, lilies & irises. The air in Central Park was fresh & fragrant. Young lovers strolling hand & hand, or lying on a blanket under a tree, basking in the warm sun with a soft cool breeze gently kissing their hair. Squirrels were dancing up & down the trees & thick green grass, while thousands of birds flew over head, singing their mating songs.
I strolled over to the huge pond in the center of the park. It was full of children & parents racing remote control boats. It was fun to watch as everyone maneuvered their boats around each other & raced for the finish line. There weren't prizes to be won, just the gratification of sailing that boat. I watched them as the parents did high fives with their children. I sat at the edge of the pond, watching the excitement, feeling very unconnected with my surroundings. My mom & I had a huge fight over Sal this morning. I left in a huff, wanting to strangle her. Nothing I ever do is right to her. Today it was that I'm wearing too much make-up, my hair is too short, & "What are those blond streaks? Your skirt is up to your panties! You always look like a whore, just like your real Mother!"
So, like the idiot I am, I argued back. It got pretty loud & intense for awhile. I've always hated her, but today I REALLY hated her. But more than that, I hated myself. She knew that every Sunday & Monday, I would take Sal out, & we would do things together. I had planed to bring him to Central Park today, & let him play with one of these boats. You rented them by the hour, & I loved the excitement when his boat would speed to the other end of the pond.
But today she had to start a fight! I me with my short temper argued right back, until she told me to get out of her house. She wouldn't even let me take Sal for a few hours. So I stormed out of there as quickly as I could, with tears rolling down my cheeks, cursing her with every step of the way. Walking towards the train station, I realized that I forgot to kiss Sal good-bye. My heart broke. He had started to cry as our voices started to pitch, & the words got angrier at each other. I prayed that she didn't take her anger out on my son when no one was present.
Well, here I am, alone at Central Park. Regretting my temper & frustration with that woman. Regretting not being able to be with my baby boy. I adored him! Sal, for only four years old, was sweet & gentle. Smart & so handsome. He is the one good thing I've done so far in my life. But hey, I'm only twenty!